Metaphysics of

Alcohol and domestication have killed my brain cells and I am as silly as I look.Need serious therapy(not retail pls!) to get my old self back.haha.And hoping to get a brand new me by 2008,otherwise have alot to explain to my other self(yes im many parts,epitome of multi personalities) and of cos JJ.I think i have too many ideas and get too bored too quickly and this is a vice.how can I embrace my traits when it’s ruining my life..ugh.I want to go home and surround myself with ppl who built me in and out.really feel like an empty shell now.now i know how to spell D e p r e s s i o n.*TEARS*

summer break is over god damn it. KL has taken my breath away and im in love with it.confirmed wana stay there forever. hehehe.mostly cos of the lavish lifestyle, the non stop entertainment routines and my extremely wonderful parents and not so wonderful sisters.hehe..my goldie baby must be so lonely now that all my sisters have moved out momentarily for studies or work. sigh..i would love to transport my mum and goldie here in england.cant wait for my whole family to come over in november! never thought im such a HOMEY person, family dependent and so emotional.:P i feel so much love with them, it’s had to live normal again, in a cold place where ur only true friend is ur bf. wtf!!!

just had my first class today.missed induction week as usual. ive got a feeling turning over a new leaf’s gona be hard. masters aint that easy yo!! to get a distinction i must get 75%..hahhaa may god bless me! suddenly i’m religious.

i wun be complaining bout boredom anymore.hehe ive got lotsa tv series and new movies to watch. lost. house and the latest tvb series.yay! hope these dvds dun take my study time away, which i swear and swear that i would be studyin hard sometime starting this term!well as soon as i purchased my printer, my textbooks and opened a bank account.tedious procedures again and again.sigh.

ive bought lotsa clothes some in kl some in uk..one luggage!kinda contradict my oath that i wun be partyin so much..hard to resist when u have so many pretty clothes to show.hehe cant be wearin to uni.oo hehe i think i bought a lovely new TURQOISE cardigan great for autumn or summer.

rite..back to playing with my new sony t5.hehe thanks baby!

There are so many ways I can express my love for my gal friends, but let’s do with high heels for now. Why high heels? Because the feeling of purchasing brand new heels is ultra satisfying- the way it makes your feet ten times more beautiful than they originally are and almost like nature call when u just feel you need a new pair of heels to match your newest dress. Ahhh…and you know u feel special if you were wearing THE high heel with THE dress. And also because I just bought 2 pairs of new heels..wee! I was just viewing random friensterers’ profile, those friends of friends and the friends of friends of friends and cannot stop noticing how many gal love messages aka testimonials gals send to their gal mates. Every gal has a few gal frens that they have to communicate on a daily basis or at least think about frequently. I love my gals and hope they love me back. Hehe..why not? I can be their high heels anytime. Love messages… from gals to gals. As gals are born with tendency to pour their feelings out, it is only understandable that gals shout/ advertise/ whisper love to their gals..over emails, phone calls and most fashionably, over friendster testimonials. Especially when the gals are apart, some in Australia, some in USA, some in Indonesia and some back in Malaysia, the urge to meet their mates comes every night when they are having a good time or having a bad time or just being lonely. Time flies when u are with your gals, unlike when you are alone and just want to pass time by drinking wine or watching DVDS..or just watching reruns of Sex and the City and F.R.I.E.N.D.S on TV. Those who are away from home will know exactly what I mean. I feel so lonely sometimes I wished I could just open my room door to find myself at my own house. At least I have my booboo doggie following me everywhere I go and fight for the computer with my sister, or just watch MTV with my doggie, and listening to my dad making endless phone calls or watching mum busy gardening. And after I had done all those I would pick up the phone to call either JJ audrey xy liz debbie…just to complain about not doing assignments or telling them about the latest gig in town. Or planning ladies nite on tues, wed or thurs nite. Hehe but with JJ I get to go out everynite cos she gets free drinks all the time. Not to mention the getting dressing up and getting flirty (with the babes!!!) money cant buy that..well at least here in the UK. I want my babes!! God I miss my babes. They are irreplaceable and complete my life! Yeah I get my fair share of independence and partying and holidays, But my babes…they make me who I am today and I goin crazy without them. I am emotional and they know it as well. Gal frens…those u choose to share ur intimate stories with, those u carefully pick and keep. Not just anyone u meet at a bar. I miss u gals..u are like my high heels! Muacks. Cannot wait to meet u gals and do all the things we used to do.

damn i mean what i say and i do what i mean. If i had a telephone and there was a next flight home,i’ll be home.

Im so impulsive it scares me sometimes. Closed my bank account in Uk today and thoughts were speedin thru my tiny psychoed brains. Everytime i feel that impulse, it races to from the place that i was in till my destined sanctuary. It is quite funny really when u think everything is possible just as u want it. hehe like catch a train and then a taxi to the airport with 100 pounds.yeah rite!! but hell when i want it, it gets done.

It always happens to me, I should not had allowed myself to be stopped.should not stop and think.should act on my impulse and insticts. I was actually happy for that exact moment when i was liberated. I could be home!!!for my hawaii trip with my dear family and sweet goldie baby would be jumping for joy. i would get lotsa belated birthday presents, lotsa cheap vinci heels to buy, lotsa good food to indulge for hours, lotsa girly nite outs again..lotsa things i just cant get here, boring bristol..
have i mentioned a decent pair of heels cost about 25 pounds..and i only fall in love with those above 55? and it’s only a morgan brand. damn and mum suggested a salvatore for my ex birthday gift.she thinks europe is cheaper. but i do like escada heels and manolo blahnik but i just really really would settle for the 55 pounds heels.it’s hard for me to depart with money. well i just have to wait for the day i have someone to buy me those stuffs.hehe i do collect heels..i wear them all the time..im short and it’s the cheapest way to elongate my form.

omg..the blog entry has diverged to some other topics.oh man…i forgot what i wanted to say..see told ya im impulsive.oh maybe another day.

ps: i blog only when im pissed.

Dearest JJ and me were having a major brief talk bout ex gfs of our current bfs…everything the exes had done to least affect our relationship if not had created some very interesting discussions for the both of us.( Yes me and JJ are not the average bitches.. we are angels!! but super bitchy with a substance and only when really necessary…so we are angelic  bitches to be exact.) i will talk bout the different levels of bitchings after my exams.

SO we talked bout stuffs(note that this is the point of view of two femme fatales, thus the exe that we are refering to mainly depict a female instead of a male)…the lunacy of the exes, the suicidal attempts of the exes, the smack-me -in -the -face -pls pics of the exes, the acts of degradation of the female species of the exes, the contradictory words of the exes, the TOTAL harassment of the exes,etc..u get the picture? exes are nuisance for many innocentes.but JJ and me beg to defy.

..for we claim that talking bout exes will make us become better in a way that we know exactly WHAT we dun wana turn out to be. As what we see in the exes are turn offs for both sexes of the society. Both men and women are very pissed off instead to know the existence of such ppl. For the men, those horrific exes should stop acknowledging their affiliations("ooo im ur ex so u must take care of me..or at least keep in touch?!")
for they are
1)annoying
2)unconfident thus not sexy
3)when they are annoying, even if they exude some amount of confidence, they are NOT sexy 4)they constantly remind the men about the past which is just F*ckin annoying…why want to keep in touch when they dumped u in the first place?
5)because their current gfs have better personalities if not bigger boobs! hahaha (erm yeah when u run out of things to say..just have to spill some physical traits,but nonetheless must be substantial)

THere are more reasons but tinge of guilt is buildin up again. sigh i have not started reading my second academic journal.

gtg read about the paradigms debate in social sciences. *yawns..i rather be bitchin..hehehe

well this clearly proves that im quite a bitch..to write this entry when i’ve already delayed 6 hours in reading my journals! (JJ is gona lecture me again.hehe such a darlin motivator!)

Happy anti exes day!! talk bad bout them when u need to, cos they probably talkin bad bout u too. well they have reasons to ..cos their exes are terribly in love with u, and they just cannot understand why..haha..or rather let’s put it simple..back to basics…some ppl are just delusional psychos.
good nite!

I have a soft spot. And it is for those hard bulky muscles on men!!!!! so nice to look at..nice to touch too.(in a way that ur finger bounce back when u poke it several times..damn turnin on!!)

and i figured guys that have biceps and triceps would have had six packs abs..well it all comes with a package. dun wana sound shallow minded..but i only wana marry someone that has strong arms!!i can look at them for hours! ask my baby..hehe.

yeah…exams in a few days time..good luck mich!!

And it is to start new blogs..and it only comes everytime i have something major to do e.g assignments or preparing for exams. I quit XaNGA after one entry..hahaha..quit multiply journals after a few entries and now friendster blogs. Why start when u cant finish?After some deductions, I realised i dun write becos i will never get to be the best blogger, for the best blogger spills everything in ‘her’ life.What she really thinks, what she really wants..what she really loathes, what she really fantasise..heheh yes i mentioned ‘HER’…due to me being a feminist and mostly because i like girly stories and bitching gossips. And i will not get bored of female bloggers enthusing bout the newest Espadrilles or Lulu guiness.

But bear in mind,  silent ppl do have the most ‘wicked’ thoughts..ehehe..OK im quiting this entry now..tinge of guilt building up.

Some points to ponder..(i like blog entries with a purpose)

1) I cannot be a good blogger cos im not gutsy..and i write in inappropriate abbreviations..e.g. dun,becos,etc

2) MY exams are next week that is why im writing this entry.

3)Im jealous cos JJ has few entries..hahahaha.

4)im only writing helluva good blogs when im 26.

*feeling more guilt*

gotta run..BYE!!